January, The Never Ending Story.
February 09, 2017
After the quick dissipation of summer and fall up here on the mountain, I soon start to realize I am beginning to forget what real color looks like. I will admit that I continue to be surrounded by an endless ocean of pine, fir, and cedars. but the color that they cary on them during the long months of November, December, January, January, January, oh and did I mention January…………… is definitely not GREEN my friend. I know that they are known as the evergreen, but when you are sitting here alone atop this desolate mountain mid February, stuck in what feels like an endless January, green is something you begin to fear you may never see again. In all fairness my mind is often left to question its sanity when I have vague recollections of missing this snow covered mountain top during the short temperature spikes of late July and early August. But I chalk that insanity up to the human condition. I do find it odd that no matter the season, I am always finding myself in situations that my mind and body tend to want to escape. I try and remind myself that I am thankful for the knowledge that it will pass, just as my fight or flight instincts that the 100+ temperatures invoked during the vibrant months of summer. Summer does feel a little easier to handle mentally however. There is always something you can do to distract ones self, and help the time pass.
I tend to have a booming garden in desperate need of attention, a plethora of lakes at my fingertips to swim across, vast wildernesses to hike through, and secluded meadows to lay in. Winter, simply put, offers stark realities. My garden cheats it way through, tucked away sleeping till brighter days appear. The lakes tend to foster uninhabitable conditions, and no matter how beautify the wilderness may be, you can only hike for so long when the temperatures are cold enough to induce hypothermia within a matter of minutes. Moments like this one I find myself thankful for this wonderful home that my husband has built for us. It was only two short years ago when he began the latest addition on our house. At the time we where a family of six living in a two bedroom one bath 700 sq. ft. cottage in the woods. It was a glorious cottage, everything that I had ever wanted or dreamt about in my youth. I was so fortunate to have a husband willing to build it for me. It was a sad day when I realized my family had outgrown it, and that we where all going crazy as a result. It is no surprise however that this realization hit me in the dead of winter, probably another endless January, as we where all reluctantly confined on top of each other. We had planned on building a different house in the beginning. We wanted to just keeping the cottage as a guest house, but 12 years of memories held my heart hostage, and brought me to the realization that I did not want to move. It took a while for us to come up with a floor plan that would work with our little treasure, but eventually I came up with a great plan and here we are today. Now, no matter how endless January feels, I can sit looking out at the color stripped wilderness of death finding beauty at the sight of it, and comfort in what is hiding under the four feet of snow.
On the occasionally vibrant blue sunshiny day, with good company and a pair of snow shoes, I can venture out and live vicariously through my pounding heart beats, and explore this harsh trap designed to bring me inside myself. These are the days I feel hope that perhaps January is my friend. Perhaps she is lingering around to visit because she knows just how long she will be gone, and how much she will miss me. I know that I will miss her. There is something magical about the muffled noises. It slows time down and makes every sound feel like it’s part of a dream I am trying to remember. The crunch of the snow is a metronome set at a steady 60, lulling my mind into submission.
And if the quiet of an empty mind doesn't do it for me, well what other month of the years will force wild turkeys into my barn to say hello to me. Yah none… So I guess I will just enjoy it while it lasts forever……
now I’m happy and can stop typing.